sexuality again but in an abstract way
sometimes I have an urge to make an AD account on certain other websites. but the problem is that I don't really feel the need to be intensely horny in open/semi-open internet spaces, like, ever. being casually horny in a chill way is nice though. whatever that means, anyway.
also I don't want anyone to recognize me. I want to get over that fear, though!
It often feels like I gotta pick either a branding of "pure wholesome bean" or "insatiable horndog" (both being vague, ever-shifting ideals in the minds of people) and stick to that idea of what you are meant to be. What if I can't really fit into either all the time?
That feels reductive and naive of me to think, maybe, but it's a recurring fear!
Lately been of two minds regarding what directions I could take art, drawing and writing in. On the one hand, I want to be honest with myself and express the kinds of things I enjoy, even when they're kind of weird. On the other, I want to remain someone whose work is accessible to a broader audience, and I also have interests that don't mesh with anything sexual. And I also wanna remain responsible, whatever I decide to do. (1/2)
morning thought #3:
Talking about sexuality in any public forum is scary. Feeling like somebody is always there, watching, taking notes, deeply inconvenienced or disgusted by my being and what I choose to do with myself.
lmao, growing out of old belief systems and social structures does not remove fears of them, I guess!
Botany, art, navel-gazing, weird things.
Queer instance for the Witches' Moon community. 🌿🌙